Hi my loves! It's me again :)
Today I want to come to you with something that has been on my mind quite a bit lately. It's the concept of expecting more. So many times we start out with high expectations and then end up lowering them because we let ourselves believe that there is nothing better out there. Well what I want to do today is to convince you that it's okay to demand more, to expect more.
We've all heard it said, "Boys will be boys!" Well I for one would like to say that whoever said that first is a cotton headed ninny muggins. Pardon my French, but somebody needed to say it! Now I think that it's perfectly alright for boys to be boys, but it's a whole 'nother story when the phrase becomes, "Men will be boys!" Which let's face it, that's pretty much what we say in our adult lives. We may not directly say that out loud, but our actions sure do!
For years now, I myself, as well as some of my closest friends, have fallen into this. We've all been hurt by the same kind of guy. You know, the one you think should be better, should maybe be a little more respectful, I mean would it kill him to hold a door open every now and then? It's this guy that you think these things about, but you never find a moment to voice it because you chalk it up to overthinking and expecting too much of him, especially in today's world.
Well I really do believe that we have more pull than we think we do. If we all made the choice to keep our expectations high, men would have no choice but to rise to the occasion. The problem starts when we expect less and less of them. Now, are there men out there that are respectful and loving? Of course there are! But it seems the vast majority are more like the boys I spoke of earlier.
If we want more, we have to expect more. This means we have to give less of ourselves. We allow men, boys rather, to treat us disrespectfully and objectify our bodies and we still stay with them, this only reinforces this unacceptable behavior. We need men who are in pursuit of Christ, not boys who are in pursuit of the things of this world.
We need men who know our value and our worth. We need men who know we are daughters of God and treat us as such.
I know this isn't an easy thing I'm asking of you. I've been there. I've been lonely and had countless nights watching chick flicks, hoping that one day I'll be the Rachel Adams, the Jennifer Aniston, or the Reese Witherspoon of the movie that is my life. I know you just want somebody who is there for you and loves you on the no makeup, sweatpants kinda days. I promise you, he's coming. But this guy, the man you want is someone that you have to expect more of to get.
He's not the guy you meet when you're drunk in a bar that you make bad decisions with. He's not the guy who says nice things but doesn't make time for you. He's not the guy that cheats on you and then realizes what he had. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a big believer in second chances, but I'm a bigger believer in knowing what you deserve.
Here's the thing, it starts with us lovelies. We have to respect ourselves and love ourselves if we want love and respect from others. If you haven't read my post "When you're thinking of settling..." I think you'll like it!
I believe that we are all capable of this. We are all capable of demanding more of the men we let into our lives and expect to love us. I want you to think about the man that you want to marry. Is he pursuing Christ? Does he love you well? Does he respect you? Does he treat you like he respects you?
Now I want you to ask yourself if you're dating someone, is he these things? If you're dating more casually, is this the type of man you're inviting into your life? Remember who you are beautiful. Remember what you deserve.
I love you so much and so does your Father.
Be strong. Be courageous.
I'll talk to you again soon love,